CNN BREAKING NEWS: CRISIS IN D.C.
CNN has confirmed that last evening in our nation's very capital, around sunset, the sun disappeared for several hours, only to reappear thousands of miles off course from its previous known location early this morning around dawn. We will stay on this breaking crisis around the clock with Wolf Blitzer screaming his own opinions at numerous experts in the guise of questions.
"The loss of the sun would be disastrous for world financial markets," says Wolf Blitzer, CNN's Senior Alzheimer Anchor, "clearly, the U.S. is under attack, most likely by the Borneans, since it has been widely reported that while the sun was missing, many saw it hiding in the sky over Borneo..."
Stay tuned for more of CNN's comprehensive coverage of this critical crisis after we sell you some toothpaste, car insurance, and air fresheners...
CNN has confirmed that last evening in our nation's very capital, around sunset, the sun disappeared for several hours, only to reappear thousands of miles off course from its previous known location early this morning around dawn. We will stay on this breaking crisis around the clock with Wolf Blitzer screaming his own opinions at numerous experts in the guise of questions.
"The loss of the sun would be disastrous for world financial markets," says Wolf Blitzer, CNN's Senior Alzheimer Anchor, "clearly, the U.S. is under attack, most likely by the Borneans, since it has been widely reported that while the sun was missing, many saw it hiding in the sky over Borneo..."
Stay tuned for more of CNN's comprehensive coverage of this critical crisis after we sell you some toothpaste, car insurance, and air fresheners...
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