The Diety at Hand as Buck says so eloquently, dealing with modern times.
This was found on FB.
In the year 2013, the Lord came unto Noah, Who was now living in America and said:
"Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me."
"Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."
He gave Noah the blueprints, saying:
"You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."
Six
months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard -
but no Ark."Noah!," He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is
the Ark?"
"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed."
"I needed a Building Permit."
"I've been arguing with the Boat Inspector about the need for a sprinkler system."
"My homeowners association claim that I've violated the
Neighborhood
by-laws by building the Ark in my back yard and exceeding the height
limitations. We had to go to the local Planning Committee for a
decision."
"Then the City Council and the Electricity Company
demanded a boat load of money for the future costs of moving power lines
and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's
move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but
they would hear none of it."
"Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the Greater Spotted Barn Owl."
"I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!"
"When
I started gathering the animals, PETA took me to court. They insisted
that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the
accommodations were too restrictive and
it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space."
"Then
the Environmental Protection Agency ruled that I couldn't build the Ark
until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on Your proposed
flood."
"I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human
Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my
building crew."
"The Immigration Dept. Is checking the visa status of most of the people who want to work."
"The labor unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only union workers with ark-building experience."
"To
make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying
to leave the country illegally with endangered species."
"So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this ark."
"Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine and a rainbow stretched across the sky."
Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"
"No," said the Lord. " The Democrats beat me to it."
Happy Hour
"IF A LIFETIME CAN BE LIKENED TO A DAY, THEN THIS IS HAPPY HOUR!"
BUCK PENNINGTON
Mother, Mother Ocean
Mother, Mother Ocean, I've heard you call
Wanted to sail upon your waters since I was three feet tall
You've seen it all, you've seen it all
Wanted to sail upon your waters since I was three feet tall
You've seen it all, you've seen it all
Watched the men who rode you, switch from sails to steam
In your belly you hold the treasures, few have ever seen
Most of 'em dream, most of 'em dream
In your belly you hold the treasures, few have ever seen
Most of 'em dream, most of 'em dream
Yes, I am a pirate, two hundred year's too late
The cannons don't thunder, there's nothin' to plunder
I'm an over-forty victim of fate
Arriving too late, arriving too late
The cannons don't thunder, there's nothin' to plunder
I'm an over-forty victim of fate
Arriving too late, arriving too late
Yoda
"Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is."
―Yoda, to Luke Skywalker
―Yoda, to Luke Skywalker
Counted the Stars
Counted the stars on the 4th of July
Wishing we were rockets bursting in the sky
Talking about redemption and leaving things behind
I have these pictures and I keep these photographs
To remind me of a time
These pictures and these photographs
Let me know I'm doin' fine
We used to be so happy once upon a time
Once upon a time
But the sun sank west of the Mendocino County Line
And the sun sank west of the Mendocino County Line
Wishing we were rockets bursting in the sky
Talking about redemption and leaving things behind
I have these pictures and I keep these photographs
To remind me of a time
These pictures and these photographs
Let me know I'm doin' fine
We used to be so happy once upon a time
Once upon a time
But the sun sank west of the Mendocino County Line
And the sun sank west of the Mendocino County Line
""SOME SEE A GLASS AS HALF FULL, SOME SEE IT AS HALF EMPTY, I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHO’S DRINKING MY RUM."
Rumbear
Sunday, March 17, 2013
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I will not go down and tell my children I didn't have the courage, the conviction, the commitment or the character to fight for this country...Don't go home and let your children down~~ LTC Allen West
Publius Flavius Vegetius Renatus
"Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum.("Therefore, he who desires peace, let him prepare for war")" from "Epitoma Rei Militaris," by Vegetius (Publius Flavius Vegetius Renatus)
1 comment:
Heh. That's really good!
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