Happy Hour

"IF A LIFETIME CAN BE LIKENED TO A DAY, THEN THIS IS HAPPY HOUR!"
BUCK PENNINGTON

Mother, Mother Ocean

Mother, Mother Ocean, I've heard you call
Wanted to sail upon your waters since I was three feet tall
You've seen it all, you've seen it all
Watched the men who rode you, switch from sails to steam
In your belly you hold the treasures, few have ever seen
Most of 'em dream, most of 'em dream
Yes, I am a pirate, two hundred year's too late
The cannons don't thunder, there's nothin' to plunder
I'm an over-forty victim of fate
Arriving too late, arriving too late

Yoda

"Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is."
―Yoda, to Luke Skywalker

Counted the Stars

Counted the stars on the 4th of July
Wishing we were rockets bursting in the sky
Talking about redemption and leaving things behind
I have these pictures and I keep these photographs
To remind me of a time
These pictures and these photographs
Let me know I'm doin' fine
We used to be so happy once upon a time
Once upon a time
But the sun sank west of the Mendocino County Line
And the sun sank west of the Mendocino County Line


""SOME SEE A GLASS AS HALF FULL, SOME SEE IT AS HALF EMPTY, I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHO’S DRINKING MY RUM."
Rumbear

Sunday, February 03, 2013

THINGS I DIDN'T LEARN IN HEBREW SCHOOL

From Peter Bromberg at G Plus.
meh................................................

1. The High Holidays have absolutely nothing to do with marijuana.
2. Where there's smoke, there may be salmon.
3. No meal is complete without leftovers.
4. According to Jewish dietary law, pork and shellfish
    may be eaten only in Chinese restaurants.
5. A shmata is a dress that your husband's ex is wearing.
6. You need ten men for a minyan, but only four
    in polyester pants and white shoes for pinochle.
7. One mitzvah can change the world; two will just make you tired.
8. After the destruction of the Second temple, God created Nordstroms.
9. Anything worth saying is worth repeating a thousand times.
10. Never take a front row seat at a Bris.
11. Next year in Jerusalem.
     The year after that, how about a nice cruise?
12. Never leave a restaurant empty handed.
13. Spring ahead; fall back - winters in Boca.
14. WASP's leave and never say good-bye;
       Jews say good-bye and never leave.
15. Always whisper the names of diseases.
16. If it tastes good, it's probably not kosher.
17. The important Jewish holidays are the ones
      on which alternate side of the street parking is suspended.
18. Without Jewish mothers, who would need therapy?
19. If you have to ask the price, you can't afford it.
      But if you can afford it, make sure to tell everybody what you paid.
20. Laugh now, but one day you'll be driving a Lexus
       and eating dinner at 4:00 PM in Florida .

2 comments:

Buck Pennington said...

You need ten men for a minyan, but only four in polyester pants and white shoes for pinochle.

Ahem. Or four guys in fatigues, "utilities" for you squidly types.

Glenn Cassel said...

Four guys in dungarees..................................

I will not go down and tell my children I didn't have the courage, the conviction, the commitment or the character to fight for this country...Don't go home and let your children down~~ LTC Allen West

Publius Flavius Vegetius Renatus

‎"Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum.("Therefore, he who desires peace, let him prepare for war")" from "Epitoma Rei Militaris," by Vegetius (Publius Flavius Vegetius Renatus)